I had my leg in the air lying on the couch the day after my knee surgery. I admit it I was there because of my own stupidity … after singing in EMCs The Voice in Boston I slipped on ice. Piling into my inbox were \”get well soon\” messages so in between painkillers I was reflecting on what I could do for them to show my gratitude for their the support and encouragement.
Staring back at me was an email invitation for a national TV shoot singing songs off my CD. Too excited to read it properly (… c\’mon I\’ve just had surgery and at the best of times \”details focused\” is not how you\’d describe this rock musicianary singer songwriter) I didn\’t think twice hitting reply and was frantically forming vaguely intelligible sentences when I spotted the date … the shoot was 4 days away!
My gung-ho grin was over run by panic-filled pandamonium. DEFCON1 started blaring followed by the surgeon\’s icy face floating in front of me \”blah blah blah elevation for 2 days blah blah blah no exercise for 4 weeks blah blah blah …\” DEFCON2 crushed my eyes closed with mad fears of letting my fans down after they’d been there for me. DEFCON3 slammed my pain-addled peace … would I miss this chance and never be considered again if I turned Shine TV down? DEFCON4’s straight-jacket insanity swelled around me … how in all the world could I be ready in 4 days! I didn\’t have any tracks from the recording sessions ready. …
A deer frozen in headlights I was stunned as this opportunity growled towards me like a F60 pickup truck when an email \”bling\” snapped the silence – it was a fan telling me how much my music meant to them. The shrill sirens faded and the quiet calm confidence that comes from knowing True North rolled over me … there\’s nothing quite like doing what you know God made you to do to hold back the insanity screaming at you \”WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!\” .
I clicked over to the comment made by the fan on my blog and found even more supporters spurring me on. I realised I would never feel ready – there would always be obstacles to making music that gives people strength and courage so I did what any crazy musician would do and asked the station for a 2 week delay while immediately contacting the record Mixing Engineer asking for a mix without my lead vocal track …
Reason suddenly joined in the jaberring conversation logically reminding me I could be a flop at the shoot and disappoint Shine TV and my fans. I could injure myself performing so close to my surgery when my surgeon had expressly told me no exercise for 4 weeks.
When I think about it now I realise I was an idiot. What was I thinking! If I was going to do a TV shoot I should make sure I had a band to appear with me, be fully rehearsed, be fit and strong, fully pumped to give my best shot for the station and for all my supporters …
Instead I was committing to a national TV appearance straight after knee surgery without a band or even any instruments, singing karaoke through painkillers while trying to look like a polished performer straddling a stool in case I fell over … I knew I wouldn\’t be able to give my best performance and may in fact lose the plot with my fuzzy brain while blowing out my knee jumping around rocking out within a week of surgery when my surgeon had given me express instructions to rest and not exercise for a month! Enthusiasm and pursuing your calling are an unstable partner to a busted up body …
The TV station emailed me straight back telling me the crew was only available for a limited window and they could delay only 3 days. It would mean a TV shoot 7 days after knee surgery but I was willing to run the risk … God created a whole bunch in that time so with whispered prayers and a smidge of crazy courage I confirmed the date.
5 days later I was in the studio with the amazing Shine TV crew and it went …. GREAT!
Sure I had to sit on a stool for some of the shoot (I keep telling myself it was to achieve that casual-singer-songwriter-cafe-performer look when it was just covering for the fact I needed to sit down) while I dialed down my enthusiasm. And as you\’d expect I did hurt my knee by rocking out a little too much but not enough to stop me from seizing the opportunity for my fans and for Shine too – the crew loved it and the station got what they wanted.
I drove away satisfied that I’d supported Shine TV and given my best for my fans … with a little help from some painkillers too :p
After all this is bigger than just me – what\’s the point of making my music if I\’m not doing it for others, for you, to bring you hope and healing. Most things in my life have not panned out how I expected they would. Life seems to offer challenges and opportunities in unexpected ways and takes me off my beaten track. After lots of unexpected adventures I\’ve learned to recognise this as it seems to be the way with me. I can confidently say that life, and singing on TV, never works out the way you planned!
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Pete
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